Stop Putting Yourself Down
We all struggle with negative thoughts and habits from time to time but for some, it’s a constant battle of self-defeating talk, comparison and a serious lack of motivation. But why is that? What characteristics/habits are commonly shared? Meee has done their research and compiled a list of the top 5 characteristics of negative thinkers:
1. Putting Yourself Down
One of the main consequences of consistently putting ourselves down is a serious lack of success. Because of this, negativity seems to be the main cause of people not achieving what they hoped because we spend so much time talking ourselves out of something, saying no and worst of all, not trying. Negative self-talk also has a detrimental effect on our emotional intelligence which can lead to confrontational and passive-aggressive behavior. Try to make a conscious effort to counteract every negative thought about yourself with a positive one. This may be difficult at first so try asking other people and explain to them why you are doing it. Utilise your network of support and you will soon discover how truly wonderful you are.
In an age of social media, everyone is constantly comparing themselves to those of other people. It can, however, have a huge impact on those who find themselves obsessing over comparison. We may become tempted to compare accomplishments, attractiveness or even financial success with those around us and because of apps like Instagram and Facebook, those we have never even met. Our research has shown that those who consistently compare themselves with others are often resentful and can certainly cause us to experience anxiety, stress, and depression. A great tip is to consider removing social media from your phone or even go through your accounts and surround yourself with positive influences that make you feel good about yourself, not force you to compare and fixate on your perceived inferiorities.
Related: The Importance of Being Independent
3. Fixation of the Past
Reflecting on the past is a totally normal thing. Maybe you’re remembering that nice holiday you had or that time you spent with family and friends? But what if you become obsessed with the negative stuff? Or the person you used to be? A common characteristic of negative people is their tendency to become fixated on what happened in their past. The implications of this can make us feel stuck, with no clue of how to move forward no matter how much they try. The first step to breaking this habit is to remember that what has happened has happened and that there is nothing we can do to change our past. But, we can change our future. You and only you can decide how to move forward, choose to use your past as an educational tool to help you make better decisions in the future.
“A bridge can still be built, while the bitter waters are flowing beneath” Anthony Liccione.
When it feels as though difficult situations are snowballing into bigger and bigger problems, we tend to look for people, situations, and organizations to blame for our misfortune. Some people consider their turbulent childhoods, negative dating habits, economic hardships and general lack of success to be the reason for their unhappiness and dissatisfaction with life. Placing blame onto something or someone empowers that thing to have control over us. By taking the blame, or let’s reword it to responsibility, into our own hands we can feel empowered to make the changes that will inevitably lead to our happiness. No matter what happens to us throughout life, only we ourselves can choose how it impacts us.
5. Fear of Failure
We all know that setting high expectations for ourselves is a great motivator but for some, it’s a huge limiter. Many are so frightened of doing something wrong or not believing we are capable of achieving it that we never give it a go. Additionally, setting standards that are too high and expecting too much of yourself can really limit your greatest chance for success. Perfectionism and fear of not getting something right can cause anxiety and unnecessary stress. Remember that all humans are different and have differing capabilities. Work to the best of your own ability, you know your own limits and only you, yourself know if you have sold yourself short. Give things a go, take a stab in the dark, who knows what might happen!
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Do you recognize yourself in any of the above? The truth is, we can all relate to some if not all of the traits above. We all struggle with negativity but acknowledging it is the first step to living a more positive life.
Do you want some tools to help you defeat those negative habits? Purchase our latest book, ‘Meee in a Minute’ for just £8 at www.meeebooks.com. Here you will find 60 one-minute tips to help you in your journey towards a happier you. You can also get our audiobook here!